Like weeds that spoil your splendid garden, wimpy verbs sully your prose.
“Be verbs,” the various forms of “to be,” dominate the wimps list: be, am, is, are, was, were, been, being. Along with the linking verbs—appear, become, feel, grow, look, seem, remain, smell, sound, stay, taste, turn—they belong to a class known as “state-of-being” verbs.
Truth to tell, wimpy verbs litter my drafts, and sometimes even my revisions. If I’m not vigilant, I get called out by my writing friend Gaylon Greer. Thank goodness.
Here are some examples of how choosing verbs other than “be” verbs strengthen sentences.
Ex: Brandon is fearful of giving his speech.
Fix: Brandon fears giving his speech.
Ex: Danielle grew uncomfortable when the interviewer asked inappropriate questions.
Fix: Danielle’s chest tightened when the interviewer asked inappropriate questions.
Ex: I am lonely.
Fix: Loneliness grips me.
Ex: Such a brazen crime seemed unimaginable to residents of the quiet neighborhood.
Fix: Residents couldn’t imagine such a brazen crime in their quiet neighborhood.
When you start messing with words, the fun begins. For example, as I think of Brandon,
certainly “fears” is better than “is fearful.” But I want to feel his angst viscerally. And that’s what I want for my reader. So, “The mere thought of giving his speech made Brandon’s knees quake and his mouth go dry.” Been there, done that.
And I can’t resist going beyond the “brazen crime” sentence. So, “Several neighbors bought guns. Two men took turn patrolling the streets at night. A widow put her house on the market.”
Search in a chapter of your WIP for these key culprits: am, be, was, and were. You don’t have to weed all of them out of your prose–sometimes you’ll just like the cadence of the sentence as is. But you’ll find many sentences can be improved.
Leave a comment or example of your own.
What could be more nostalgic than the smell of the library you grew up with? Or more likely to produce a lump in the throat than memories of riding bikes to the library with kids? Or more significant than thwarting the John Birch Society’s attempts to get certain books off library shelves?
–Leanna Englert, in “The Voice for America’s Libraries
(I meant to use this for Library Week, but April got away from me.)